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You know the days that I am talking about. Where you wake up and you just know its going to be one of those. Where you wake up and you feel as if someone once again stole your body while you were sleeping, ran an octoathalon and then returned it without your knowledge. Where you see the signs of daylight peaking through your blinds, taunting you and you just want to throw your pillow over your head and tell the sun to go back to bed, only to remember you have a lot to do.
Then you walk down the hall in zombie mode. You go through the automated motions of making coffee, saying good morning to the kids and head to your office waiting for the coffee to finish. There are many things out of the norm that part of you brain picks up on but you and Self are not fully communicating with each other just yet. Self is yelling at you in the back of your mind but you tell it to shut up because you haven't had the blessed coffee yet.
Mechanically you check your e-mails, overnight tweets, Facebook and surf other sites that are part of your waking up routine. But Self won't stop nagging at you. You wave your hand at Self to shoo it away as if it were some annoying fly buzzing around your head.
Ah, you hear the coffee is done. So back down the hall you head, robotically. You grab your mug, fill it with coffee and add your cream and sugar. You look over into the living room and say, "Self something doesn't seem right." Self replies, "I have been trying to tell you..." "Shhhhhhhhh, I haven't had my coffee yet", you respond before Self has time to finish its sentence.
Back to the office you head, coffee in hand. You sit and stare in a complete daze at your computer screen, unblinking. Moments pass, maybe even minutes before you realize you are staring and were about to do something, only you do not remember what. You sip your coffee as if it were nectar from the gods. "Something doesn't feel right" you say to Self. Self tries to speak up again but you shut it down quickly.
15 minutes later, you realize your coffee is done and it is time to go get your second cup. Now you are a little more open to communication. As you are pouring your second cup you notice that your feet and the bottom of your sweat pants are wet. Why would they be wet? Self, not feeling brave enough to speak up, "I have been trying to tell you!" You look over at the fish tank and notice that there is 3 inches of water missing from it. What the hell? Self is now annoyed, "I have been trying to tell you!!! But no, you won't listen to me yet again!" FUCK!
You put down your cup of coffee and walk over the fish tank to see water all over the floor. You pull it away from the wall to find the water pump has sprung a leak. You grab towels to clean up the mess and that is when you definitely know its going to be one of those days. Once you have cleaned up the water and refilled the tank, you grab your coffee and head back to your office wishing you had nothing to do.
But you have a lot to do. All day long your find yourself completely spacing out and having to snap yourself back to reality. It one of those days where things normally guaranteed to perk you up and bring you to reality, fail miserably. And you cannot afford this. Especially when you are going away in a few days and have a list 9.4605284 × 1015 meters long needing to get done and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the upcoming week to get it all done.
Your day is full of just going through the motions. Nothing seems real. Everything is in a thick, heavy fog. You go back into the living room every few moments to make sure it is not yet again flooded. The minutes of the day swing from dragging on to all of a sudden realizing 30 minutes or more have passed with you doing nothing but staring off into other worlds. These other worlds you don't even know what they were. It would be okay if the other worlds were inspiring productive ideas but they are just black holes. You just come to realization that you were lost somewhere unknown. The day is many variations of the above.
You start to hear things. Strange noises, such as the sound of dripping water coming from your ceiling. You look up and down and all around trying to find the source of this noise. Seeing nothing, you realize you are just paranoid because of the mess you found earlier when you finally became somewhat aware of your surroundings. These noises won't stop. You keep swinging back and forth between getting sucked into the void to becoming aware of things around you. You hear the noises many many times and everytime you look, nothing is there to make them. The noises are taunting you.
Then you look over a final time because you are yet again hearing these strange noises (and even so you look over, you expect not to see anything) only to find something standing there. It is a figure of some sort. It takes a moment for you to comprehend all that is going on in your environment. You were not expecting to see anything and something is there and making noise none the less. Your heart leaps into your throat (especially since not to long ago your house was broken into in the middle of the night while everyone was in it) and you scream WHAT THE FUCK. Then you come to the realization that it is your child making Darth Vadar noises. You break down into tears and start to shake uncontrollably. Your normally sweet child has just transformed into some type of demon monster and starts to laugh uncontrollably because he just scared the living shit right out of you.
Tears start to stream down you face. The demon spawn is very proud of himself. One of the reasons why he is so proud is because you have a habit of scaring him yourself. You do not mean to though. It is never purposeful. You are just a quiet person and the child gets lost in his own little worlds while he is playing video games. You go into the kitchen to do something and he jumps after you have been there for a while asking, "When and how did you get there?" Your child thinks you have the ability to apparate. You remind him if you could apparate there would be a definite cracking noise everytime you did so.
Regardless of the above, the demon spawn has made it his life's mission to try and scare you. He tries to sneak up on you at every opportunity and startle you. But it does not work as the demon spawn is never quiet enough. Finally he has victory! And he wasn't even trying. However, due to your lack of awareness throughout the day and you finally sticking a gag in Self's mouth, you have no warning that the demon spawn is approaching your office. He won't stop laughing and you can't stop crying and shaking.
Poor demon spawn starts to think you are angry. So you have to give him a hug and kiss and reassure him, no my love I am not angry. Today is just one of those days... Happy in the knowledge you are not in fact angry or upset with him, away he goes. Every now and then you hear him laugh and snicker and yell down the hall, "I still can't believe I finally got you!"
Yes today has been one of those days for me.